The Climb

Truly, it's not about how fast you get there....definetely all about the experience you have along the way. I have been climbing this mountain of soul searching for years, at my age (23), saying years might sound silly, but I am an old soul.

I have been searching for this relationship with God that I want so desperatley but cannot seem to obtain. I find it harder to acheive the more I procrastinate and can't seem to figure out why I don't have this relationship yet. I miss my mom, I know that if she were here things would be much different.

She Drives Me Crazy!

My baby girl is the most amazing child this very second on this planet.

I can't get enough of this little angel, I swear God has given me one of his angels....she is perfect.
Thanks to the chemistry that Brian and I have....our dna created an absolute masterpiece!

YAY!!! FOR AALIYAH!

Being A Mommy

Being a mommy means working real hard!
Means cleaning the floors and still standing tall.
It's being the bad guy,
Just for making the rules,
Asking daddy for help when you can't use the tools.

Being a mommy means breathing when drowned,
Means telling the boys "put that toilet seat down!"
It's learning to balance the chaos in house,
while keeping your feet planted firm on the ground.

Being a mommy is feeling their hands,
the moment you see them you know God has a plan.
It's watching them smile and grow everyday,
Knowing they always have your love at the end of the day.

Being a mommy means feeling their pain,
Means brushing the tears from their faces, no shame.
It's giving them everything that you've got,
not the cool places you've gone or the toys that you've bought.

Being a mommy means making committment,
Means fixing yourself for the sake of your children.
It's standing up for everything that's right,
kissing you're babies and saying their prayers late at night.

Holidays

This by far, has been the craziest holidays so far...and the best. Today I had to say goodbye to my mom, stepdad and little sister Samantha. The hardest person to let go of was Sammie. I have always wondered what she does back in Illinois and who she's around, how she feels and what she needs. I know I feel incomplete without her,just as my sister Shanoa does...and I need to watch her grow up. But she's already a young woman and I've missed the firsts, I've missed helping her with her make-up and I can't get them back!

It will definetely be difficult to wait another year...

Dezmond got some of the coolest toys he's ever had...yesterday Glenn and my mom came over with Sammie and put together a train set and rearranged his room. Boy did he flip out when he saw everything!

Lil Brian is in town from down south and he and Dezmond have been getting along great this time...I feel like they enjoy eachother more everytime they get together. They've been really happy!

And Aaliyah...wow! What can I say about her except that she's the most amazing 2 month old baby on the planet! Maybe even the universe! I cant get enough of that little girl....

I've had a full holiday...and now I am going to rest up for tomorrow, hopefully we can see Kelly and Mikayla in the morning. NIght night...